Behind The Veil
by KingxLeon21
Summary: The meanings behind words that lie, and try make the world turn a blind eye, she wouldn't break nor would she cry, she'd just shrug you off with a smile and a lie. She is who she says she is... right? Why would she hide? Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.


Hey hey, its your friendly neighborhood Leon and I'm here to give you guys a nice one shot to sink your teeth into. *disclaimer: that is a figure of speech… please don't bite your computer screens*

There wasn't really any particular musical influence for this one so that's a lil new for me. However, I was inspired to write this fic by "Rainy Days and Gas Stations," by Mixwe. You guys should go and check it out.

I won't take up any more of your time. I give you: "Behind The Veil"

There wasn't really any song that I wrote this to, but if you'd like a song to listen to as you read this I suggest, "The Only Exception" (or whatever it's called) by Paramore. It, sort of, fits the theme of this fic.

Please read and enjoy and review. Thank you.

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Behind The Veil

She's everything she says she is, and if you were to ask her, she'd accept it without question.

If you were to ask her, she'd acknowledge it. If you were to reprimand her, she'd take pride in it. If you were to scold her, she'd happily accept it. It's who she is.

If you were to tell her that she'd never graduate if she didn't buckle down and get serious about her school work, she'd smirk and tell you that she didn't care. She'd tell you that she could learn more by experiencing the world than she ever would by reading about it. She'd tell you that, for a free spirit like her, being trapped in a dead end job after years of school was worse than slowly wasting away in a jail cell.

If you were to tell her that she would eventually lose her friends if her behavior didn't change, she'd scoff at your silly statement. She'd tell you that her friends accept her for who she is. She'd tell you that any of her, so called, 'friends' who decided to leave her were never her real friends to begin with.

If you were to tell her that her relationship with her mother was important and that she should try to appreciate her mother more, she'd glare at you and tell you that her mom got all the respect that she deserved… no more and no less. She'd tell you that, not a word she's ever said about her mother was false. She'd expand on her point tell you that she also hated her sister and that the only family she would ever need was Carly and Spencer… but not Freddie, because there's no way she would be related to nub like him.

If you were to tell her that she shouldn't eat that much junk food, she'd probably beat you up. Once she was finished (or while she was in the act of beating you up), she'd tell you that what she ate was her business and that you'd do well to mind yours. She's witty, that way. Then, for good measure, she'd steal your lunch.

If you were to tell her that she'd never find a boyfriend due to her abrasive behavior, she'd tell you that she didn't care… that she'd act like this till the day she died. She'd tell you that she was more than capable of being independent, and that she didn't need chivalrous acts like opening the door for her or giving her your jacket. She'd mercilessly rag on them until they'd had enough and left. She'd tell you that anyone who wanted to be with her had to have the tough skin and testicular fortitude to accept her the way she is. She'd tell you that she wasn't the 'marrying type' and that she was a free spirit and having to drag around some dude would just slow her down. No dude could keep up with her… maybe when she found that guy she _may_ be willing to bring him along for the ride for a while, at least until she got bored with him.

If you were to ask her how she feels about her friends, she'd happily oblige you. She'd tell you that Carly was like her sister and that Spencer was like her brother. That they have been there for her every single time she's needed them to be. When you asked about Freddie she would scoff and tell you that he's a nub, and that there was nothing more to it than that. She'd tell you that she only tolerated him because Carly seemed to enjoy having him around. She'd tell you that he was like a fourth wheel to their tricycle: completely useless and always in the way.

Of course… every girl has her secrets.

What she wouldn't tell you is that there were times she would worry about her grades. She'd hide the fact that she cared about her grades because it's the one difference that she has with those friends who do accept her. She'd hide the fact that she fears that her friends will move on and forget about her once they get to their fancy colleges and meet their fancy new college friends. She feels that her friends will go elsewhere, seeking 'intelligent' conversation that she, herself, couldn't provide.

She wouldn't tell you that her behavior is more of a shield than anything else. That it keeps the jerks and losers from taking advantage of her. She wouldn't tell you that she doesn't get close to many people and that she's infinitely grateful for the ones who have stayed. She wouldn't tell you that she's been hurt before and that she will never let that happen to her again. She'd never tell you that she is disappointed with some of the ones who decided to leave. That every person that leaves her behind takes her back to that loneliness that sparked her 'behavior' in the first place.

She'd never tell you that she loved her mother and her sister. That kind of thing should be apparent, but she'll never say it out loud… she'll never acknowledge it. She'd never tell you that she's proud of her sister's success in school, and that, while she didn't particularly want to see Melanie, she was glad that she was doing okay. She'd never tell you that, regardless of her mother's quirks and flaws, she'll defend her mother against any negative comments that she hasn't said herself. She'd never tell you that sometimes she wishes that her relationship with her mother was more… more… more than it is now. She'd never tell you that sometimes, she's jealous of the love and attention that Freddie receives from his mother, and that he should just suck it up and be glad his mother feeds him every day. She'd never tell you that even though Carly and Spencer, and even Freddie… sometimes, are her closest family; she wishes she could receive half of the love she gets from them, from her mother. She'd never tell you that, sometimes, there was no substitute for the real thing.

She'd never tell you that her love for food is a coping mechanism. She'd never tell you that she eats a lot because, when she was a kid, no one would play with her and all she had was food to turn to. She wouldn't tell you that she thanks God for her freakish metabolism, otherwise she would be the poster child for childhood obesity, and that she wants to somehow help other kids who may be suffering from the same issue.

She'd never tell you that she gets jealous of all of the cute guys who instantly fall, head over heels for Carly. She'd never mention that she wishes, just once, that a guy would like her for her, and not try to get with her to get closer to Carly, or try to change who she was. She'd never tell you that she tried changing who she was once and that no good came of it. She'd never tell you that she appreciates it when a guy is thoughtful enough to hold or open the door for her. She'd never tell you that the idea of marriage has crossed her mind once or twice, and that she deemed herself unfit for marriage based on her mom's previous examples. She'd never tell you that she had, indeed, found a guy who could keep up with her but has constantly pushed him away.

She'd never tell you that, even though Carly is the sister that she's always wanted, she was jealous of her image of perfection. She'd never tell you that she constantly compares herself to her best friend and that she always comes up short.

She'd never tell you that, despite his dependability, Spencer's goofiness can get on her nerves sometimes. She'd never tell you that sometimes, she wishes he were more mature so she could be comfortable to go to him for advice.

She'd never tell you that she actually does consider Freddie one of her friends. You'd never hear from her, that sometimes, she would get jealous of the attention that he used to give Carly, and that part of her was glad when his infatuation ebbed once they were older. She'd never tell you how grateful she was that he was the one guy whom she could never push away, regardless of how hard she tried… and she certainly gave it her best shot. She'd never tell you how glad she was that he stayed, through everything. She'd never tell you that she deemed him worthy, a long time ago. She'd never tell you that she appreciated it when he gave her his jacket and that she appreciated it when he held the door open for her. She'd never tell you that she…

Nope, she would never tell you that.

If you were to ask her, she'd ignore it. If you were to call her on it, she'd refute it. If you were to point it out to her, she'd laugh it off.

She's everything she claims she isn't, and if you were to ask her, she'd deny it without hesitation.

It's who she is.

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Well there ya have it.

Thoughts? Grievances? Gripes? Complaints?

Let me know how you liked it. I haven't written a one shot in a while so it would be nice to know if I was still any good at it.

As always, I want you guys to read:

pigwiz, Techman, JamesTheGreater, axel100, aussiemma, BoxOfTrinkets, ItalianBabexo8, iCarlyangst, iLuvNathanKrEsS, The Earl of Sandwich, Pieequals36, myjumpingsocks, BaalRules, and  
Commander Lagasse

If you're not reading them then you're missing out. So check them out as well.

I believe that's all I've got to share tonite. So faithful readers, I hope you enjoyed reading as much I enjoyed writing.

Until next we meet  
Deuces  
KL21


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